My little Khmer Prince has arrived!
So I'm finally getting around to announcing my sweet baby boy, Senna Neil! He was born March 4 at 9:02 via repeat cesarean surgery. I know, the birth was far different from what I originally wanted (a water HBAC) but surprisingly it was still a great and HEALING experience. It's amazing how being more prepared and feeling like you're in (somewhat) control can make such a huge difference. Up until my induction date (it was a personal decision & I'm glad I opted for it) I was still mourning my ideal, perfect birth. I hated the fact that I had GD and was therefore risked out of both home birth and midwifery care. But I'm a true believer of Everything happens for a reason...and in this case it was true. After 24 hours of being induced ( had an enema, then foley bulb, and pitocin) and was still stuck at a 3....something was up. Not to mention his heart rate kept dropping and I was passing several large sized blood clots. Thankfully there was enough time to give me the epidural. That was the first big difference from my first cesarean (I wound up being under general anesthesia). My fiance was not only awake this time but he was also able to scrub up and be there with me in the OR. During the surgery we discovered he was tightly and deeply entangled in the cord which was preventing him from descending further...but the poor thing kept trying so hard that I had a partial placenta abruption (hence the blood clot). My sweet boy was born weighing 6 pounds 6.4 ounces and exactly 19 inches long. This time I was able to see my sweet babe shortly after birth and even nurse him during recovery! Needless to say I've been healing faster this go round.
I'm absolutely in love with my (no longer little) family! My oldest daughter, Aeryn, is ecstatic. She's high functioning autistic and was still traumatized by her younger sister's birth. Izzy had to be in the NICU for nearly 2 weeks and she had to wait until she came home to meet her. This time she met him at 2 days old! Izzy is also proving to be a fantastic big sister! She loves burping him, holding him, trying to feed him & change his diaper. Can't believe she'll be 3 this Saturday!
I will admit something, however....breastfeeding is HARD. I know we spend alot of time going over how FANTASTIC it is, and all of it's glorious benefits....but no now ever talks about the dirty truth....it's a learning journey. It takes a while for both you and baby to learn. He's exclusively on breast milk but we're STILL learning to latch and breastfeed at 5 weeks. Yes, I'm mainly pumping. Yes, it's annoying. Yes, there are moments of desperation where I feel like giving up, but I don't. So what if when he does latch he needs to use a nipple shield? I've had to have the amazing Chrissy Bodin IBCLC come over and help me out. I've also discovered he has a lip tie and had two types of tongue tie, so had to take him to Dr. Wohl, ENT to get his ties revised (& it was sad to see him cry but now he can actually eat properly not just from breast but bottle as well). The truth is, it can hurt. It can take a while to establish a good latch. But as long as you have a truly good support system (partner, friends, family, professionals) it CAN be done and it is totally worth it!
In fact my sweet bub has gained over HALF of his birth weight by 1 month of age! Booby milk is amazing <3
But can we please stop, for one moment and recognize, that no matter how educated or uneducated, coerced or informed the choice that woman on the operating table made or didn't make, whether that cesarean was elective or emergency, necessary or unnecessary - it takes a lot of courage to get there. Our birth culture may be saturated in fear-based decisions, but behind every cesarean and "unnecesarean" is a woman of courage. In that moment, it doesn't matter how that woman got to the operating table. It doesn't matter if the surgery is necessary or unnecessary, what matters is that it takes extraordinary courage to say:
"Cut me open.
I love my baby so much, that I will do anything to get my baby out of my body alive.
Lay me out, cut me open
because I love my baby so much."
That is courage. That is bravery and sacrifice and mothering in its purest form. That is the willingness to lay down your body and risk your life that your child might be born, that your child might live.
Cesarean mothers are BRAVE.
Read more: http://avital.blogspot.com/2011/01/cesarean-courage.html#ixzz3WomkndcA